The Elipsis of a Dream

Wow, it's been a while since i've logged on here and vented a bit. Is that a good thing? Does it mean i'm coping better? Coming out of my hole. Forcing myself to be more proactive and less dependent? Well fuck, i don't know.

But. I woke up this morning feeling just as completely fucked up as i was a few months ago. A place i was hoping to never have a to return. A place He spoke about when i was still able to listen. Yeah, kinda horrible.

Anyway, i had a really bad dream in the early hours of the morning. Or maybe it wasn't the dream that was so bad, it was more the waking up that threw me viciously back into reality with the dream being just a cruel reminder of how real waking up in this world is. Also made me realise that my world is still not a particularly grand reality. In any sense.

Fuck. This is one of those dreams that i actually wish i couldn't remember. Why is it that i can never remember them when i want them to be remembered but when i don't want them in my psyche it's all that runs through my head.

I have a strong desire to...
No nevermind

Cards

Yes, they should. I'd have way too much use for them though. Don't want to be keeping hallmark in business with my tendency for profanity.