Filing Cabinet

I don't like to categorise. Yet i love categories. I put myself in them all the time, thereby doing something i hate, yet love at the same time. Quite confusing i must say. But to me, putting myself in a category helps me react and respond to people and situations according to the category that i place them in, in my mind. I suppose i do this as a method of bonding on like terms with people or even just hiding aspects of myself i don't think will be appreciated or approved of. Maybe it's a kind of protection mechanism to protect those parts more close to me. Or even to protect myself from judgment.

Without these categories, or unchartered categories life is all a bit too confusing for one small brain to handle. There are a select few people who i've come across in my life however, who do not force me to categorise them and thereby also not myself. They just are. They don't expect certain reactions or responses, they just take them all. And it is weird enough that i feel most like myself around them. My whole self, not just bits and pieces selected to create a partial person. The parts that i separate myself into with others actually become less important.

Although after such a long period of putting myself into categories I'm familiar with I'm not sure if i exist in others. And another problem comes when i have now been newly put into categories i never dreamed I'd be in and ones i can't quite live with myself being in. That in fact, is actually much harder for me to deal with than forgetting about my different entities. Fuck, i mean, being something you hate, despite and don't like to think about would be quite hard, wouldn't it?

I'll try disintegrating the boarders and be all of me, well most of me... maybe minus the parts i can't stand or can't stand to deal with.