Congratulations

Maybe some congratulations is in order.

Well done on sorting yourself out. Did you drag yourself out of that mess? Or are you just dragging someone else down into it to be smothered and suffocated? Oh but of course you don't realise how bad you actually are. And the only reason why i say that is because i was on the receiving end of you and your mud and yes, i was drowned in it. In fact I'm still sitting here wondering if I'm not past the stage of resuscitation.

Congratulations for dragging me to a point that you're above me, now. Kudos for that, makes you so fucking brilliant, huh? All those noddy badges?

Well done on finding someone better, prettier and generally a perfect platform for you to play your bullshit out on. It'll be such fun. I'm sure you can't wait.

Oh and congrats on hiding it from me for so long. Yeah of course you knew i was looking. She must've been really special. Your method of bragging is also worth of congrats. Cheers to you.

I shouldn't. But i do.

I shouldn't feel sick to my stomach.
I shouldn't feel a prick of anger.
I shouldn't feel hurt.
I shouldn't feel completely betrayed.

Yet i really do.
And it's stinging.

Too Late

I'm kind of done holding on. My grip has slackened and i'm tired of fighting for something that i'm not quite sure is worth it. You know the saying "you can't have everything you want" is ringing true and now it's kind of got to a point that i don' really want it any more. It's sad huh? The more i fight for it the more i realise that the fight isn't completely worth fighting, now is it? And you know what, i don't even particularly feel like announcing my giving up. I mean why should i? Waste more breath on more useless rambling that will probably be presented as a last measure to try and force a move that is not wanted to be made. And i've kind of realised that i'm not the only one out there despite all the bullshit that's been presented to me from one too many sources.

And you know what kind of funny. When the realisation hits that i'm giving up, or rather that i've pretty much completely given up there is all of a sudden all this effort being presented. mmm.

Holiday

I'm going away on holiday.

I think it's a well deserved break and i'm going to try and make the best of it. Hopefully i can transform my death-toned glare giving legs into bronze gleaming beauties. Wishful thinking is top of the order today as we can all see. Hopefully the time and space will clear my head of a) cobwebs b) troubles and c) bring me to blissful enlightenment (yeah, sure).

Anyway.
*whoosh*